For all the dogs who've touched our hearts

Play Rules! What’s it all about?

There are so many rules around playing with a dog. It's important to know if these rules are working for or against your relationship with your dog.

Snuffy was my first dog, and the easiest dog to play with. He chased a ball, loved to tug, swim, jump, play soccer and wrestle. It was really simple and always a joy. Everything was a potential toy, every moment ripe for a game.

I remember sitting on the floor and bouncing a ball in different places off a wall just to see if he could catch it. Simple.

The dog who asked why?

Rumble was a different story.

If I threw a ball Rumble would look at me as if to ask Why? and he would not play tug despite being an amazing hunter. It was nearly impossible to bring out the fun in this serious boy. I didn’t understand there were dogs who would not chase balls, tug or play in the way I expected.

To make things worse I was nervous around him. I’d wanted to train him “right” so I set out to learn, but the only information available at the time emphasised being pack leader.

I was afraid that if I relaxed the rules and gave him some control over the game, he could become aggressive and potentially dangerous.

I was strict.

I was controlling.

I was NOT fun.

No wonder he didn’t want to play with me!

Rumble a German Shepherd Husky mix standing in long grass - Play rules what's it all about?

Rumbly play rules!

I was so unhappy with treating our relationship like a battle, that I continued to search for answers and thankfully found the positive reinforcement world.

I hopped on forums to learn how to teach tug, I read up on training fetch by using food. I bought food pouches made from Kangaroo skin which I stuffed full of real Roo meat. All these efforts had some effect but it was when I learned 3 key points that our play began to blossom:

I had to relax and let go of the rules
I had to let Rumble relax by letting go of the rules
I had to learn how HE likes to play

So what is play?

Freedom

In its simplest form play is about having fun. It can be on one’s own or with others. It can involve objects, toys, be physical or imaginative. Children play freely and easily, adults find it harder as inhibition develops with age.

One of the reasons we love our dogs is the joy they give us when watching them play. Dogs play with the abandonment and freedom of children.

Choice

This freedom comes from choice. When playing we must be free to choose to play and free to choose to stop. If this choice is not there for any reason, it becomes coercion – coercion is never play.

I see some play where the dog is so revved up, so high on adrenalin that I wonder how much choice the dog really has?

Enjoyable

With Snuffy play was never about getting something or how he should play, it was simply enjoying time together. I didn’t know there were rules for playing, we just… well… played!

With Rumble play became serious business, it had a purpose and had to be done in certain ways. It had rules like ‘don’t let the dog win’, or ‘don’t let the dog initiate the game’.

Play must be mutually enjoyable, tailored to the individuals, be about the game not the results and always a choice for all players.

Julie van Schie

There’s no doubt play needs thought and care, over excited or inappropriate play can injure both human and dog. It’s also is a powerful vessel for learning, but the essence must never be forgotten: it must be mutually enjoyable, tailored to the individuals, be about the game not the results and always a choice for all players.

Learning to play again

I’ve now spent years learning about dogs, training and most importantly learning about Rumble. I’m happy to report that relaxing the rules, giving him choice and playing as a partner not a leader, has radically transformed the way in which we play.

Rumble does not play the way other dogs do. I can never take a ball to the park and expect him to fetch, nor pull out a tug for a quick game, but at home we whoop it up.

He loves to share killing a toy: to de-fur and de-skin it, to stalk and hunt the squeaker when I hide it under my leg. He loves to chase and catch my hand to make the squeaker fly through the air ready for recapture and re-kill.

Trust and friendship

I learned from Rumble all dogs are different, they need to feel safe to play and it’s easy to be overpowering if your emphasis is on “being the leader”.

I learned taking rigid expectations into play is disrespectful to the individual in front of you.

It took a while but we’ve found ways to play that enhance out trust and friendship and are fun for both of us.

And the more I relax and just play, the more Rumble comes alive.